Stay at home dads have been on the rise in recent years. Some data even suggest that the number of stay at home dads has doubled since the 1970s. My guess is there is a lot of different reasons for this. Whatever the reasons are stigma will always be around a man that is a stay at home dad.
Women fought and protested for equal rights and in a lot of ways that fight still goes to this very day. Things like pay scales and job opportunities are just a few things that keep them being held back.
Men have their own issues to deal with. Equal opportunity would suggest that women would be the first to welcome men with open arms into the world of everyday childcare but, in reality, they aren’t.
Here are 6 secrets that stay at home dads want everyone in the world to know.
A Choice not Forced.
Many people look at a stay at home dad and think that they stay at home because we are lazy. That could not be further from the truth. Stay at home parenting is a full-time job. There is not a coworker to hand a job over too. You are on call 24/7. Men that are staying at home dads are usually staying at home because that is where we want to be.
Disability and injury sure are factors in the number of stay at home dads. With the recent conflicts in the middle east, I have seen a number of soldiers come home and go straight to being a stay at home dad. They might do this by choice or they do this by injury, either way, is perfectly normal.
The choice is as mirid and different for guys as it is for girls that stay at home. Whatever the reasoning behind them staying at home it is ultimately their choice to continue it.
We Know What We are Doing.
Equality only goes so far. The sad truth about any stay at home dad is we will always be looked down on as unqualified. Women seem to not grasp the concept of a dad that can take care of a screaming child just as well as any woman can. In fact, I do not think there is one of us that has not been approached in public and asked if we need help. No, we are here because we know what we are doing.
We are dads first. We do not babysit our own children like some people like to think. Most of us are stay at home dads because we know what we are doing.
Dads are Incompetent.
If you look for a short time on any social media platform you can find the people or groups of them that are under the impression that dads do not know what we are doing. Memes that come across Facebook talk about us like we are incompetent. These are not funny nor are they appropriate.
Memes and a mentality like this lead to double standards. Men are called pigs or sexist if they have this same mentality toward women. Then we need to ask ourselves why this same standard is not held for the women too. Equality is equality. It goes both ways for men and for women. Traditional views of a “Woman’s Job” and a “Man’s Job” need to be challenged. Sadly, stay at home dads are not among those that get this kind of favor.
Stay at Home Dads versus Stay at Home Moms
Many times in the past stay at home dads will be treated much differently the stay at home moms. Moms are looked at as the normal and when you are a dad that stays at home you are not looked at that way.
Be a stay at home dad and show up to a playdate and see what kind of reaction you will get. Sometimes people think that you are lazy but, sometimes people can have a much worse opinion about you. Stay at home mom’s will shun and stay away from a stay at home dad. I have to admit this type of thinking is getting much better than it has been but, it is still there. Many dads have even been looked on a predator when they showed up for a playdate and their wife didn’t.
Thinking like this does no one any good. Equality needs to be applied across all genders and professions.
Being a “Man”.
Traditional views of what is a man complicate the thought process of many people. People look at a stay at home dad and think there is something wrong with us. That is not the case. Many fathers relish the opportunity to stay at home and do household chores. It really has nothing to do with being a man or being a woman. It has to do with challenging the normal views of manhood and womanhood.
Today’s world accepts a woman that want to push the ceiling and expand roles that women can do. That equality is not always translated correctly into men being a stay at home dad.
Just because we like to stay at home and keep up with everything here doesn’t mean anything about manhood or womanhood. That is called being a parent. In any case, it is better that BOTH parents are parents instead of assigning when and where each parent is responsible.
Stay at Home Dads Work too.
Stay at home moms learned a long time ago that it does not pay to stay at home. It is a rewarding job, to say the least when you get to keep up with the house and be with your kids all of the time but, there is not any money in it.
Dads have learned to work and be at home too. In the internet age that we find ourselves in there is ample opportunity for any stay at home parent to work a home-based business while being a stay at home parent. We run websites, write books, blog, and sell items just like everyone else does. There is no difference between us.
Most people think that since we are a stay at home dad we enjoy sitting around all day watching sports and playing video games. If you are lucky enough to get to sit down for five minutes than you will realize that playing a game is the last thing that you want to do. If you manage your time right then you might get to catch the late sportscast after all of the tasks are done and the house is put back to order before bed.
In today’s world, we need to be less concerned with labeling people and more concerned with making equality stretch for every man, woman, and others in the world.
There is the basic information. You decide the outcome.